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My family and most of my friends are rather conservative, though, and I would like my stepdaughter to at least put on a dress when we see them, and also refrain from mentioning things about her politics and sexuality. We are an accepting family, and we know several gay people. She has cut her hair short, prefers listening to abrasive music, and has made friends with other “LGBTQ,” or whatever the current acronym is. My wife and I are moderate liberals, while my stepdaughter is now a left-wing lesbian. I have been with her mother since 2013, and the girl has radically changed her whole identity. Disrespectful Teenage Daughter: My stepdaughter is 14 years old, and has demonstrated problematic behavior toward me recently, in my opinion. But should I be more direct? Which is worse, thinking your father has kiddie porn or knowing that you just saw a 14-year-old version of your mother naked? I didn’t directly tell him that the pictures were of me, but assured him that his father didn’t look at or keep teenage porn and that I would speak to him about it. My son came to me really worried with the concern that his father was potentially hoarding teenage porn. The problem is that the pictures are nude shots! You can’t really tell that the pictures are of me, as my appearance has changed pretty dramatically since I was 14-hair color change, weight difference, boobs, etc. The pictures were in an old shoebox filled with baseball cards and other adolescent memories. The Naked Truth: My 14-year-old son recently came across some Polaroid pictures of me that his father took of me back when we were 14-we have been together for a long time and got married when I was pregnant with my son. ( Sign up here to get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week. An edited transcript of the chat is below. All you can do is ask and let him decide if he wants to tell you.Emily Yoffe, aka Dear Prudence, is online weekly to chat live with readers. Just like you wouldn't sit in front of someone and watch them make out with their partner (or watch even more intimate acts), you don't need to break into that part of his life. At the end of the day, the most important thing to remember is that his sexuality is his business. Someone's sexuality is their business.Since it doesn't matter, then you don't have to know, and judging prematurely can only create problems. This piece of information should not have any impact on how you think of him or how you interact with him. Another important thing to remember is that it's not very important whether or not he's gay. Even if he is gay, that should not inform your opinion of him.This is why it's better to ask or just see how things develop between you, rather than just decide for yourself. If you're trying to figure out if your friend is gay because you want to date him (as a woman), it's important to remember that just because he might be interested in men doesn't mean he's not interested in women. Being interested in men does not mean he's not interested in women.For example, his family may be violently homophobic and by deciding that he's gay, you may out him by accident by treating him different or implying something without meaning to. By "outing" them, even to yourself, you may be putting them in danger. You may want to know if your friend is gay, but there may be a good reason why they're staying closeted. People have good reasons to stay closeted sometimes.